[metrostar]

Q: Did you hear that the USPS Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of DC United players on them - people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: Why can't you get a cup of tea at Old Trafford?
A: All the mugs are on the field and all the cups are at Anfield.

Q: How many DC United fans does it take to re-pave a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.

Q. What would you call a pregnant DC United fan?
A: A dope carrier.

Q. What do you call a DC United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What do DC United fans use as birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: How many DC United supporters does it take to stop a moving Bus?
A: Never enough.

Q: What's the difference between Tom Soehn and God?
A: God doesn't think he's Tom Soehn.

Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead DC United fan?
A: Skid marks in front of the dog.

Q: What's the difference between a DC United fan and a Vibrator?
A: A DC United fan is a real dick.